What We Focus On Expands: A Thanksgiving Challenge for Realtors

When the real estate business gets tough, sometimes the most important thing we can change isn't our marketing, our lead generation, or even the market. It's what we choose to focus on.

By Joshua Christensen | Christensen Properties by Realty One of New Mexico

Let's Face It. It's Been a Tough Season for a Lot of Realtors.

If you've been in the real estate business for any length of time, you know that this industry has a way of testing your resolve.

Some years, everything seems to come together. The phone rings, buyers are motivated, sellers are realistic, financing is readily available, and transactions move along with relatively few surprises.

And then there are seasons like this one.

Interest rates have challenged affordability. Buyers are hesitant. Sellers are frustrated. Insurance costs, property taxes, and everyday living expenses continue to weigh on household budgets.

The news isn't exactly helping.

Turn on the television, open your favorite news app, or scroll through social media, and there's another headline explaining why the housing market is in trouble.

Housing affordability is terrible.

Consumer confidence is shaky.

Mortgage rates are unpredictable.

Buyers are sitting on the sidelines.

Sellers aren't getting their asking prices.

And just when you think you've finally put a difficult transaction together, something happens.

The buyer's financing falls apart.

The appraisal comes in short.

The inspection reveals something nobody expected.

The seller changes their mind.

Or perhaps the buyer simply gets cold feet.

Suddenly, that closing you've been counting on disappears.

And because most of us in this industry are compensated based on results rather than effort, all those hours of work can feel like they were for nothing.

Sound familiar?

I suspect I'm not the only Realtor who's experienced a little of this lately.

But here's something I've been thinking about.

What if the biggest threat to our success during difficult markets isn't the market itself, but what we allow the market to do to our attitude?

What if, without even realizing it, we're allowing all the negative information around us to shape the way we see our businesses, our clients, our opportunities, and even our lives?

And more importantly, what can we do about it?

This Thanksgiving season, I'd like to share a simple practice I've started incorporating into my mornings.

It's called Gratitude Stacking.

It takes about 10 to 15 minutes.

It doesn't cost anything.

It doesn't require another subscription, fancy software, or some expensive coaching program.

But in the short time I've been practicing it, I've discovered something pretty remarkable.

It's helping me approach my business, my clients, and my daily challenges with a renewed sense of perspective.

And perhaps most importantly, it's reminding me why I got into this business in the first place.

The Problem With Focusing on Everything That's Going Wrong

There's an old saying I've always appreciated:

"What we focus on expands."

Think about that for a moment.

When we spend our mornings reading negative headlines, discussing difficult transactions, worrying about our next commission check, and replaying everything that went wrong yesterday, what happens?

Those problems begin to occupy more and more of our attention.

We start noticing every negative thing happening around us.

Another agent complains about the market, and we agree.

A client expresses frustration, and we absorb it.

A transaction falls apart, and suddenly we're questioning whether anything is going to work out.

Before long, it can feel as though the entire world is working against us.

Of course, the problems are real.

I'm not suggesting we ignore them.

A canceled contract is a canceled contract.

An empty pipeline is an empty pipeline.

And a mortgage payment doesn't magically disappear because we've decided to have a positive attitude.

But there's an important distinction between acknowledging our challenges and allowing those challenges to dominate our thinking.

Our minds naturally pay attention to threats, disappointments, and things that might go wrong. That's useful when we're trying to solve a problem, but it can become exhausting when every day feels like a parade of problems.

The more time we spend dwelling on what's wrong, the easier it becomes to overlook what's right.

And in the real estate business, there's an awful lot that's right.

We just don't always stop long enough to see it.

My November Experiment: Gratitude Stacking

At the beginning of November, I decided to make a small change to my morning routine.

Before diving into emails, checking the news, reviewing my transactions, or getting caught up in the day's demands, I started setting aside 10 to 15 minutes for something different.

I sit down and write a list of 10 to 20 things I'm grateful for.

That's it.

No complicated formula.

No elaborate journaling system.

Just a few quiet minutes deliberately focusing on the good things in my life.

I call it Gratitude Stacking because that's exactly what I'm doing.

I'm stacking one reason to be grateful on top of another.

And another.

And another.

Sometimes the list starts with the obvious things.

My wife.

My children.

My grandchildren.

My health.

The roof over my head.

The freedom to get up each morning and pursue a business I love.

Other mornings, I find myself thinking about things I might otherwise take for granted.

A client who trusted me to help them through an important decision.

A fellow Realtor who offered encouragement when I needed it.

An unexpected phone call from an old friend.

The opportunity to work with people who genuinely appreciate what we do.

The ability to solve a difficult problem.

A beautiful New Mexico sunrise.

Or simply the fact that I woke up this morning with another opportunity to make something good happen.

Some days, the first five or six things come easily.

Other days, I have to slow down and think a little harder.

And that's actually part of what makes the exercise valuable.

It forces me to look beyond whatever happens to be demanding my attention and intentionally recognize the good that already exists.

By the time I've written 15 or 20 things, something begins to shift.

The problems haven't disappeared.

The difficult transaction is still difficult.

The market hasn't suddenly turned around.

And that client who called yesterday to complain probably still has something to complain about today.

But those things no longer seem to occupy the entire picture.

I've reminded myself that my life and my business are much bigger than whatever problem happens to be sitting on my desk.

And that's a pretty good way to start the day.

The Real Value Comes Later in the Day

Here's where this practice has become especially useful for me.

It's one thing to begin the morning with a positive attitude.

It's another thing entirely to maintain that perspective when the day starts throwing curveballs.

And if you're a Realtor, you know exactly what I'm talking about.

You can have a perfectly good morning planned, and by 10:30 a.m., everything has changed.

An inspection report arrives with a list of unexpected repairs.

A buyer who seemed enthusiastic yesterday suddenly wants to cancel.

A seller calls because their home hasn't received enough showings.

A lender needs another document.

An agent on the other side of a transaction is making a simple problem unnecessarily complicated.

And somewhere in the middle of all that, your phone rings with another problem that apparently needs to be solved immediately.

Welcome to real estate!

It's easy to let those moments take over our emotions.

But now, when I feel a little gloom creeping into my day, I do something different.

I pull out that morning's Gratitude Stack and read through it again.

Sometimes it takes only a minute or two.

I look at the things I wrote that morning.

My family.

My opportunities.

The people who have helped me.

The blessings I've experienced.

The good things that are happening in my business, even when a few things aren't going according to plan.

And I remind myself that whatever I'm dealing with at that moment is only one small part of a much larger picture.

That difficult client isn't my entire business.

That canceled contract isn't my entire career.

That disappointing month isn't the story of my life.

It's simply a challenge I'm facing today.

And challenges are part of the business we chose.

The gratitude list helps me put things back into perspective before I respond.

Instead of reacting out of frustration, I have an opportunity to respond with patience.

Instead of dwelling on the lost commission, I can focus on what my client needs next.

Instead of worrying about everything I can't control, I can redirect my energy toward the things I can.

And that brings me to what I believe is the most important part of this entire exercise.

Gratitude Helps Us Remember That Real Estate Is a Service Business

Somewhere along the way, it's easy to get caught up in the numbers.

Closings.

Commissions.

Sales volume.

Listings.

Market share.

Lead conversions.

Production goals.

Don't misunderstand me. Those numbers matter.

We're running businesses, and businesses need to be profitable.

We have families to support, bills to pay, employees and partners who depend on us, and financial goals we're working toward.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to succeed financially.

But when the numbers become the only things we focus on, we risk losing sight of something much more important.

Our business exists because people need our help.

Think about the responsibility that comes with being a Realtor.

People invite us into some of the most significant financial and personal decisions they'll ever make.

A couple buying their first home.

A family selling a property they've lived in for 25 years.

Someone relocating for a new job.

An investor trying to build a better financial future.

A surviving spouse trying to figure out what to do with a home filled with memories.

A homeowner facing financial hardship who needs someone to help them understand their options.

These aren't simply transactions.

They're people's lives.

And when we're focused entirely on getting the deal closed, it can be easy to forget that the person on the other side of the transaction may be experiencing something far more significant than our commission.

They may be scared.

They may be overwhelmed.

They may be grieving.

They may be making a decision that will affect their family for decades.

And they need someone who can bring a little clarity, confidence, and calm into the process.

That's us.

That's the opportunity we have every single day.

When I practice Gratitude Stacking, one of the things I find myself appreciating most is the opportunity to serve.

The opportunity to use the knowledge I've accumulated over the years to help someone make a better decision.

The opportunity to bring two parties together who might otherwise struggle to find common ground.

The opportunity to help someone navigate a difficult situation.

The opportunity to be the steady voice in a room full of uncertainty.

And when I begin my day thinking about those opportunities, it changes the way I approach my work.

Instead of asking, "How am I going to get another deal closed?"

I find myself thinking, "Who can I help today, and how can I make their situation better?"

That's a different way to approach the same business.

And I believe it's a healthier one.

Even the Deals That Fall Apart Can Give Us Something to Be Grateful For

Now, I know what some of you are thinking.

Joshua, it's pretty difficult to be grateful when you've spent 45 days working on a transaction, only to watch it fall apart three days before closing.

Believe me, I understand.

I've been in this industry long enough to know how frustrating those situations can be.

And I'm certainly not suggesting that we should celebrate losing a commission.

But I've started challenging myself to look at those situations a little differently.

Perhaps that transaction taught me something about qualifying a buyer more carefully.

Perhaps it revealed a weakness in my process that I can improve.

Perhaps it helped me recognize a problem earlier than I would have otherwise.

Maybe it reminded me how important communication is between agents, lenders, title companies, and clients.

Or perhaps the transaction simply wasn't the right outcome for the people involved.

Sometimes protecting a client means helping them walk away from a deal that no longer makes sense.

And if we've done that, haven't we still provided something valuable?

We may not have earned a commission.

But we fulfilled an important part of our responsibility as professionals.

We helped someone make a decision that served their interests.

There's something worth appreciating in that.

Not every transaction will close.

Not every prospect will become a client.

Not every listing will sell on our preferred timeline.

And not every business decision will produce the result we hoped for.

But every experience gives us an opportunity to learn, improve, and become better at what we do.

That's not pretending the disappointment doesn't matter.

It's refusing to let disappointment be the only thing we take away from the experience.

Gratitude Doesn't Mean Ignoring Reality

I want to be careful about something here.

Gratitude isn't a substitute for hard work.

It doesn't replace prospecting.

It doesn't fix an overpriced listing.

It doesn't make an unqualified buyer suddenly qualify for a mortgage.

And it certainly doesn't eliminate the need to make difficult business decisions.

If your listings aren't selling, you still need to examine pricing, presentation, marketing, and buyer feedback.

If your pipeline is empty, you still need to build relationships and create opportunities.

If your expenses are exceeding your revenue, you still need to examine your business model.

And if a transaction is falling apart, you still need to roll up your sleeves and figure out what can be done.

Gratitude isn't about pretending everything is wonderful. It's about maintaining the perspective necessary to deal with reality effectively.

In fact, I would argue that gratitude can help us become better problem-solvers.

When we're frustrated, discouraged, or fearful, it's easy to become reactive.

We may rush decisions.

We may say things we later regret.

We may blame other people.

Or we may become so focused on the problem that we overlook a perfectly reasonable solution.

But when we approach a situation with a little more perspective, we create room to think.

We can listen more carefully.

We can ask better questions.

We can evaluate our options.

And we can respond in a way that reflects the professional standards we want to uphold.

A grateful attitude doesn't guarantee a better outcome.

But it can help us bring a better version of ourselves to the challenge.

And sometimes, that's exactly what the situation needs.

We're Surrounded by More Good Than We Realize

Here's another thing I've been thinking about this November.

As Realtors, we're constantly exposed to other people's problems.

We hear about financial struggles.

Divorces.

Job losses.

Estate issues.

Family disagreements.

Unexpected repairs.

Difficult negotiations.

We spend a significant amount of our professional lives helping people navigate uncertainty.

And because we're often called when something needs to be solved, it's easy to develop a distorted picture of what's happening around us.

But think about all the good we encounter, too.

The excitement of handing someone the keys to their first home.

The relief on a seller's face when a difficult transaction finally closes.

The investor who takes another step toward financial independence.

The family who finds a home that better fits their changing needs.

The client who sends a thoughtful thank-you note.

The past customer who calls years later because they trust you enough to ask for your help again.

The fellow Realtor who steps up to help solve a problem instead of creating another one.

The title officer who stays late to make a closing happen.

The lender who works through a complicated file to help a qualified buyer reach the finish line.

The inspector who takes the time to explain an issue clearly rather than creating unnecessary fear.

There are good people doing good things all around us.

Every single day.

And when we intentionally look for those moments, we begin to recognize just how fortunate we are to work in an industry where our efforts can make a meaningful difference.

Yes, the real estate business can be stressful.

Yes, it can be unpredictable.

And yes, there are days when we wonder why we ever decided to get into it.

But there are also days when we're reminded that what we do matters.

I want to spend more time noticing those days.

And I want to spend less time allowing the difficult ones to define my outlook.

A Simple Thanksgiving Challenge for My Fellow Realtors

So here's my challenge to everyone reading this.

For the remainder of November, try Gratitude Stacking.

Not as another item to check off your already overflowing to-do list.

Not as some magical formula for attracting more business.

And certainly not as another productivity trend that requires you to buy a special journal.

Just as a simple, intentional practice to help you recognize the good things already present in your life.

Here's how I'm doing it.

Step 1: Set Aside 10 to 15 Minutes Each Morning

Before opening your email, checking your transaction files, or scrolling through the latest housing market headlines, give yourself a few quiet minutes.

Grab a notebook, a piece of paper, or whatever works for you.

The important thing is to create a little space before the demands of the day begin competing for your attention.

Step 2: Write Down 10 to 20 Things You're Grateful For

Start with whatever comes to mind.

Your family.

Your friends.

Your health.

Your home.

Your business.

Your clients.

Your colleagues.

Your community.

The opportunities you've been given.

The lessons you've learned.

The challenges you've overcome.

Don't worry about making the list impressive.

Some days, you may write something profound.

Other days, you may simply be grateful for a hot cup of coffee and a few minutes of peace before the phone starts ringing.

Both count!

And don't feel obligated to come up with 20 completely new things every morning.

If your spouse, your children, your health, or your freedom makes the list every single day, wonderful.

Those things deserve our appreciation more than once.

Step 3: Include Things You're Grateful For in Your Business

This is where I think the exercise becomes particularly valuable for Realtors.

Think about the people who have trusted you.

The relationships you've built.

The clients you've helped.

The transactions you've successfully navigated.

The lessons you've learned from the difficult ones.

The freedom and opportunities this profession has provided.

Even during a slow season, there are things worth appreciating.

Maybe you're grateful for the client who referred a friend.

Maybe you're grateful for an experienced broker who helped you work through a difficult issue.

Maybe you're grateful that you have the skills and experience to adapt when the market changes.

Or perhaps you're simply grateful that tomorrow brings another opportunity to serve someone.

Write it down.

Step 4: Keep Your List Available Throughout the Day

This is the part I especially encourage you to try.

Don't write the list and immediately forget about it.

Keep it nearby.

When a deal falls apart, read it.

When a client complains, read it.

When the news gets discouraging, read it.

When you're having one of those days when absolutely nothing seems to be going right, take a minute and read it again.

Give yourself permission to step away from the noise and remember what's important.

You may be surprised how much a simple reminder can change your perspective.

Step 5: Turn Your Gratitude Into an Act of Service

This is where I'd encourage everyone to take the exercise one step further.

After you've written your list, identify one thing you can do that day to make someone else's life a little better.

Maybe it's calling a past client just to check in.

Maybe it's encouraging a newer agent who's struggling.

Maybe it's taking a few extra minutes to explain something to a nervous buyer.

Maybe it's helping another Realtor solve a problem, even when there's nothing financially in it for you.

Or perhaps it's simply going home at the end of the day and being fully present with the people who matter most.

Gratitude becomes especially meaningful when it changes how we treat other people.

And isn't that really what service is all about?

The Best Realtors I've Known Understand Something Important

Over the years, I've had the opportunity to work with a lot of real estate professionals.

Some were incredibly successful.

Others were just getting started.

Some had impressive production numbers, large teams, and beautiful offices.

Others quietly built successful careers through relationships, consistency, and an unwavering commitment to their clients.

But the professionals I've respected most weren't necessarily the ones who closed the most transactions.

They were the ones who never forgot that there were people behind those transactions.

They understood that a reputation is built one interaction at a time.

They treated other agents with respect, even during difficult negotiations.

They were willing to share their knowledge.

They kept their commitments.

They took responsibility when things went wrong.

And they understood that doing the right thing was more important than winning every argument.

Those are the qualities that build lasting businesses.

Not just businesses that survive a hot market.

But businesses that can endure changing conditions, difficult economies, and the inevitable ups and downs of a career in real estate.

I believe gratitude helps reinforce those qualities.

Because when we appreciate the opportunities we've been given, we're less likely to take them for granted.

When we appreciate our clients, we're more likely to listen.

When we appreciate our colleagues, we're more likely to cooperate.

And when we appreciate the privilege of working in this profession, we're more likely to approach it with the care and professionalism it deserves.

Maybe This Thanksgiving, We Need a Different Kind of Business Review

As we approach the end of the year, many of us will begin evaluating our businesses.

We'll review our production.

We'll compare this year's numbers with last year's.

We'll examine our expenses.

We'll set goals for 2027.

We'll look at what worked, what didn't, and what we need to change.

All of that is important.

But this Thanksgiving, I'd encourage us to conduct another kind of review.

One that doesn't begin with our profit-and-loss statements.

One that doesn't measure success entirely by transactions closed or commissions earned.

Instead, let's take a little time to consider the things that don't always show up on a spreadsheet.

The relationships we've developed.

The people we've helped.

The families we've supported.

The friendships we've made.

The challenges we've overcome.

The opportunities we've been given.

The lessons that have made us better.

And the people who have stood beside us through the difficult seasons.

Because when we look at our lives through that lens, we may discover that we're doing better than we sometimes give ourselves credit for.

Maybe this year didn't produce the income you hoped for.

Maybe your business hasn't grown as quickly as you expected.

Maybe you've experienced disappointments that nobody else knows about.

Those things matter, and they deserve honest attention.

But they aren't the only things that matter.

You may also have a family that loves you.

Friends who care about you.

Clients who trust you.

Colleagues who respect you.

Knowledge and experience that can make a difference in someone's life.

And another opportunity tomorrow to get up, go to work, and do something meaningful.

That's a pretty substantial list of things to be thankful for.

What We Focus On Expands

I keep coming back to that simple statement.

What we focus on expands.

Not because our thoughts magically change the housing market.

Not because gratitude eliminates financial challenges.

And not because positive thinking guarantees success.

But because what we consistently give our attention to influences how we interpret our circumstances, how we respond to challenges, and where we direct our energy.

If we spend all our time focusing on what's wrong, we'll become very good at finding more things that are wrong.

If we spend our time looking for reasons to be discouraged, the world will provide plenty of them.

But if we intentionally begin looking for reasons to be grateful, we'll start noticing things that might otherwise have gone unrecognized.

And those things can help us approach our work with greater patience, confidence, generosity, and purpose.

I don't know what the housing market will look like six months from now.

I don't know where mortgage rates will be next Thanksgiving.

I don't know how many transactions I'll close next year or what challenges our industry will face.

But I do know this.

I don't want the headlines determining whether I have a good day.

I don't want a difficult client determining whether I treat the next person with kindness.

And I don't want a canceled transaction to cause me to overlook all the wonderful things happening in my life.

I want to be intentional about what gets my attention.

I want to be grateful for the opportunities I've been given.

And I want that gratitude to show up in the way I serve others.

That's what Gratitude Stacking is helping me practice.

One morning at a time.

One list at a time.

One opportunity to serve at a time.

A Thanksgiving Message to My Fellow Realtors

As we gather with family and friends this Thanksgiving, I hope we'll all take a little time to step away from the business.

Put down the phone.

Close the laptop.

Stop checking the MLS for a few hours.

The listings will still be there.

The emails can wait.

And whatever challenges we're facing will be waiting for us when we return.

But the people sitting around our Thanksgiving tables deserve our attention today.

They deserve our presence.

And they deserve to know how much we appreciate them.

I'm grateful for the opportunities this industry has given me.

I'm grateful for the clients who have trusted me.

I'm grateful for the fellow Realtors I've had the privilege of working alongside.

I'm grateful for the lessons learned through both successful transactions and disappointing ones.

And I'm especially grateful for the people in my life who remind me that there's so much more to success than another closing.

My hope is that this simple Gratitude Stacking practice will continue long after November.

Because I don't believe gratitude should be something we reserve for one holiday each year.

I believe it should be something we practice every day.

Especially on the difficult ones.

So, to my fellow Realtors across the country, here's my Thanksgiving challenge:

Before you start your work tomorrow, take 10 to 15 minutes and write down 10 to 20 things you're grateful for.

Then keep that list close.

When the day gets difficult, pull it out.

When the headlines get discouraging, read it.

When the next transaction falls apart, remind yourself of everything that hasn't.

And when you encounter someone who needs a little patience, encouragement, or understanding, let that gratitude guide the way you serve them.

Our industry may be going through a challenging season.

But there's still an awful lot of good happening around us.

There's still an awful lot of opportunity to make a difference.

And there's still an awful lot to be thankful for.

What we focus on expands.

This Thanksgiving, let's choose to focus on the things that matter most.

From my family to yours, Happy Thanksgiving!

And thank you to all the Realtors who continue showing up, doing the hard work, and making a difference in the lives of the people they serve.

Joshua Christensen
Qualifying Broker | Christensen Properties
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Albuquerque, New Mexico